An open letter to Dodie

I know this is something very different to what I normally post but I’ve wanted to do this for a while. I honestly don’t know where to start with this, there’s so much I want to be able to get across in this but I’m not very good at putting thoughts into words so I’m not sure how this will turn out but here goes. 

I found your YouTube channel in October 2015 I believe after seeing you in one of Evan’s videos and the most recent song on your channel was “Down” and that was where my love for you started. Hearing “Down” after a year long struggle with my own mental health really couldn’t have come at a better time, for the first time in a long time I felt like somebody understood how I was feeling and remember just crying my eyes out. To this day, almost 4 years later that song still hits me and I reserve it for when I’m feeling incredibly sad and need to cry, thankfully it’s been a while since I last listened to it. Since 2015 I have been to two of your concerts once in 2018 and once this year, they will forever remain 2 of the best days of my life, even though I don’t have a big group of friends to go with like some people and I usually end up dragging my family members with me, I still manage to feel so included when everyone is singing along, I really love the audience you have created and couldn’t be happier to have been a part of that.

As I already explained your songs have had a massive impact on me but the one that has had the biggest impact on my life is definitely “Secret for the mad” which is why I decided to get the lyric “It’ll all make sense again” tattooed onto my arm as a constant reminder that it will, in fact, be okay in the end. I’d hate to think how many times I’ve listened to this song whether that be on the way to school as I was thinking about quitting my A-levels because it was causing me to feel so bad or when I decided to drop out of uni for a year or even when I lost my job a few months ago it has always been there. I know these seem like small things and they are but that kind of ties in with the fact that although the things I just mentioned are kinda shitty I will never feel as low as I did the year before discovering your music. During that year (I was 14/15) I was really struggling with school it made me so anxious to even go in I hated the environment so much and coincidentally stayed at home in bed and never wanted to leave. It got to the point where I did actually start to think about suicide and ‘self harmed’ (I still use this term lightly as I don’t know how to classify it as it never felt that serious in comparison to what It could have been). That period of my life still terrifies me and I never want to go back to that and when I can feel myself slipping, both the fear and knowing that I came out of the other side before thanks to your songs will always manage to make me pull myself together. Therefore I will be forever grateful that I found you when I did and that you are able to serve as a constant reminder to not only me but many others that even though things are bad now they won’t always be. 

I have always felt guilty when it comes to discussing my mental health as I know what I feel is nothing in comparison to what some people have dealt with so I never really speak to anyone about these things/have never asked for help so your music way a way for me to silently deal with what I was feeling and having your words tattooed on me was something I knew I needed ever since I heard “Secret for the mad” over 2 years ago and I’m so happy I’ve finally done it. So thank you.

Chloe x

Recent reads June/July 2019

Hi!Hope you’re all good. Sorry I haven’t written for so long I’ve recently started a new job so Have been kinda busy. Now that I’ve settled in I’m going to try to get back to writing these posts. Rather than doing a June wrap up because it’s a bit late now I thought i would do more of a recent reads so I’m going to talk about the last 5 books I’ve read and haven’t really spoken about.

The flatshare by Beth O’leary ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I’ve been really in the mood for adult romance recently and there’s so many good ones around at the moment so when I saw a signed edition in Waterstones I had to grab it and can say I was definitely not disappointed. This follows the story of Tiffy and Leon who share a flat and also a bed but have never actually met because they’re never in the flat at the same time so instead they communicate in notes and consequently start to develop a relationship. I really enjoyed this and there’s so much more in this than just the romance which I wasn’t expecting going in so that was a nice surprise.

Little monsters by Kara Thomas ⭐⭐⭐.5

I picked this book up on audio and read it in one day because it was so easy to be invested in. I haven’t read many young adult thrillers/mysteries and I know they can be pretty hit or miss so I wasn’t sure what to think going into this but I did really enjoy getting so involved in this and couldn’t put it down. This book has major Pretty little liars vibes and I was so here for it as that is one of my favourite shows ever, the ending of this had me so shook I thought I’d figured it all out but NOPE I was so wrong,

I let you go by Clare Mackintosh ⭐⭐⭐

This wasn’t one of the best thrillers I’ve ever read but like I said it’s not a genre I read an awful lot of although I am wanting to get more into the genre so I’m testing the waters. I did like this whilst I was reading it but I feel that it is a very forgettable read, It’s only been a week or so since I finished and I’ve already forgotten a lot of the details. I did appreciate that this book was set in England as it’s not something I see very often and really like when I do see it. I think the story from the detectives point of view was my least favourite bit I kind of wanted to skip these chapters at some points, I’m not sure if detective stories are my cup of tea.

The diary of a young girl by Anne Frank ⭐⭐

Okay so I feel really bad rating this book so low but I just really struggled to get through this. Me and historical fiction have a difficult relationship but seen as this is non fiction I though I might enjoy it more but no It might have been even worse. I find the whole topic of the holocaust really interesting and do want to learn more about it but I don’t think this is the best way to consume this information because it was just so hard to get through, so disjointed and I couldn’t keep track of anything but I didn’t really care to be honest.

Wundersmith by Jessica Townsend ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I LOVE THESE BOOKS SO MUCH. I really enjoyed both of the books in this series series so far but I would have to say this one is slightly better than the first one. I adore the characters in these books so much and I know it gets compared to Harry #potter a lot but I firmly believe it gives off the same vibes and feel that same immersion I feel when I read both series. I loved that the stakes were heightened in this one and that because we already knew the already knew the world it was so easy to get back into the story.

Let me know what books you’ve been reading recently and I will try to get back to this blogging thing x

Chloe

WWW Wednesday #4

Hi! hope you’re all well! I have another WWW Wednesday for you which is hosted by Sam @ taking on a world of words and allows us to share books we’re currently reading. just finished and about to start.

• What are you currently reading?
• What did you finish reading recently?
• What will you read next

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What are you currently reading?

rose-tainted skies by Louise Gornall

I’m rereading some of the books I’ve wanted to annotate so this one is the second on my list. I’m currently only 29 pages in but I’m loving it even more than last time. This story really means a lot to me in the way it describes mental health, specifically anxiety. I can’t wait to get more into this and maybe do another ‘thoughts I had while reading’ once I’ve finished.

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What did you finish reading recently?

Radio silence by Alice Oseman

Sorry this post is really boring and repetitive I just finished Radio silence which again was a re-read. Check out my last post called 104 thoughts I had while reading Radio silence if you want to see me gush about this book. Needless to say this is probably my favourite book ever I just love everything about it, the characters are great and the whole overall message of the story.

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What will you read next?

The diary of a young girl by Anne Frank

This is the first book on my Book junkie trials TBR so I think that will be the next thing I read. I don’t know too much about this if I’m being completely honest but I’m expecting it to be an emotional ride.

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Let me know your answers to these questions or link your post in the comments. Thanks for reading x

Chloe

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104 thoughts I had while (re)reading Radio Silence SPOILERS

Hi! Hope you’re all well. I finished re-reading and annotating Radio silence this week so since I’m not great at writing reviews I thought it would be fun to share with you the thoughts I had while reading. These aren’t in depth thoughts they’re just little comments I wrote in my book/quotes that I really liked. This will contain SPOILERS so read at your own risk.

1. He literally tells you in episode 1 how it’s all a cry for help, this is why we should take people seriously. 
2. Talking about “C block and D block” gives my flashbacks to school. Is that a British thing to call the buildings?
3. “I’m well practised in the art of bullshitting.” haha what a mood. 
4. “Sometimes I felt like that was all I ever talked about. Being clever was, after all, my primary source of self-esteem. I’m a very sad person, in all senses of the word, but at least I was going to get into university.” Felt that so hard.
5. I like that Alice Oseman puts in pauses and filler words, it makes the conversations seem more realistic. 
6. “I always wished I had a hobby.” Same I wish I was good at sports or something. 
7. SPOONS!
8. Ooo he told her! 
9. “Don’t let him escape!… This could be your only chance at securing a spouse!” haha 
10. I agree the men’s jumpers at Primark are wayyy better. 
11. Old sport – Great Gatsby bitches. 
12. I like that Aled and Frances use kisses and hearts in messages without it being a big deal or weird. 
13. “Not an unintelligent idiot, but a sort of naive idiot who manages to fall into a difficult situation and then can’t get out of because she’s too awkward.” No need foe the personal attack Alice. 
14. I’m glad she decides to tell him that she is Toulouse early on so it’s not a giant secret throughout the whole book, *cough* Eliza and her monsters *cough*. 
15. We really need more books with platonic friendships between boys and girls. 
16. I love that it is made clear there is no romantic feelings between them. 
17. “Do you talk to yourself?” Erm yes. 
18. Putting crisps on sandwiches is golden. 
19. “There’s magic under our feet, not just in our eyes.” 
20. The bitch Carol is here. 
21. I wish I had a friendship like Frances and Aled. 
22. The first episode that Frances hears him record! A precious moment.
23. Foreshadowing! February Friday is Carys. 
24. I just love the writing in the transcript sections.
25. Ew results day. 
26. Yes GBBO!
27. I love the scene where they’re drunk in the field. 
28. I’m starting to warm to Daniel at this point. 
29. “Everyone’s different inside their head.” Big oof. 
30. Carol is a bitch okay carry on. 
31. God I relate I really didn’t want to go to university, taking a year out was the best decision I ever made. 
32. Lol Daniel is not February Friday hun. 
33. The ghost school episode, heart reacts only.
34. Yes Frances is going to be in the next episode.
35. “Feeling less like confused kids in office suits and more like ageing veterans of the education system.” 
36. Why the hell would they stop her from being head girl because of that, get over it. 
37. Ew personal statements, aka the most pointless things in existence. 
38. “Lunchtime is a basic human right.” Lol tell that to my school who gave me 2 lunch lessons a week. 
39. I’m so here for the little mentions of British things like Morrison’s etc. 
40. “I think everyone’s a bit bored with boy-girl romances anyway.” Preach. 
41. Fuck the hair cutting scene. 
42. Protect Aled at all costs. 
43. The universe city episodes are small hints as to what is going on in his life. 
44. “I didn’t know exactly what was stressing me out. It wasn’t one single thing. It was more like a billion tiny things all pulling together to form one giant tidal wave of stress. It felt like I was drowning, sort of.” Relatable. 
45. No Aled don’t be mad at her.
46. People on the internet have no respect for privacy. 
47. Parks and rec!!
48. OMG the high school musical and camp rock reference. 
49. I used to think that going to uni getting a good job was what you we’re supposed to do too but I’m glad I realised that’s not the case for everyone. 
50. Chocolate by The 1975, fave!
51. “My entire personality was a lie.” Mood.
52. Not gonna lie Tumblr can be super dangerous, it really didn’t help my mental health back in the day. 
53. “The nucleus is the powerhouse of the cell.” That made me laugh harder than it should. 
54. Raine is actually a good friend. 
55. Save my baby Aled please. 
56. Cambridge is a very pretty place. 
57. The Ron Weasley comment made me laugh, I love Ron.
58. I like seeing her thought spirals/overthinking.
59. The Cambridge/Oxford interview process really is unnecessary. 
60. The “old white men” not paying any attention to Frances is too true. 
61. “Always been lying to yourself about this? Always believed that you wre passionate about something you weren’t?” Me @ Spanish. 
62. School really shouldn’t put so much pressure on us getting good grades and should teach people about other pathways. 
63. “When you get to this age, you realise that you’re not anyone special after all.”
64. “Going into the marsh, gotta be harsh.” That had me dead, me and my friend have a similar phrase.
65. Here comes my anger for Carol.
66. God she’s so patronising. 
67. Calling her child a “Hateful child.” What a bitch. 
68. How dare she paint his room. 
69. “She took everything he loved and ruined it.” Crying. 
70. “I couldn’t stop thinking. I couldn’t turn my brain off. I Felt like I was panicking.” Relatable. 
71. OH MY GOD THE DOG. 
72. WHATTTT?????
73. “She was burning him, slowly, until he died.!
74. Poor Carys.
75. The fire, Gloves, see she is February Friday. 
76. “Sometimes I think we’re the same person..but we just got accidentally split in two before we were born.” This is so funny me and my friend always say this. 
77. “Under the trash… There’s just more trash. We’re trash to the bone.” haha what a mood. 
78. She didn’t get in, it’s so hard though.
79. I love how supportive her mum is. 
80. NOoo the fact the “Goodbye” episode is just white noise broke me.
81. I like the theme of fire in the book. 
82. Her mum ready to get that Filofax yes queen!
83. Carys help him please.
84. “Life isn’t all textbooks and grades.” Truth.
85. “I wish I could be as subtle and beautiful. All I know how to do is scream…”
86. God that transcript section was beautiful.
87. I agree I love travelling down motorways too.
88. “Art reflects life… Or… maybe it’s the other way round.”
89. People really can be brutal to Creators.
90. Thank God Aled is here.
91. “Sometimes you can’t say the things you’re thinking. Sometimes it’s too hard.” Completely agree.
92. SHIT Carol is back.
93. “I want to talk to my real child.” Ooof Carol you did not just say that. 
94. NO! Don’t let him leave. 
95. Thank God.
96. “I could get a septum piercing.” Creased. 
97. I’ve never seen  demisexual character in a book before, this is important. 
98. Essential purchases, haha.
99. Bless i love Frances’ mum so much. 
100. He’s doing it my baby I’m so proud.
101. AHHHH
102. The only criticism I have of this book is that I wish there was more to the ending, it just seems to stop. 
103. But I love it so so so much.
104. This book so accurately describes the journey I’ve been through with university. I went to uni last year but end up dropping out, taking a year out and then I’m going back this year to do a completely different course. This book is so needed. 

I hope you enjoyed reading, I’m thinking of doing this in the future for more books if you would be interested. tell me your thoughts on Radio silence. Thanks for reading x

Chloe

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June book haul

Hi! Hope you’re all well I wanted to share with you the 6 books that I acquired this month. Most of them I bought as options for the book junkie trials in July, here is my TBR for that readathon. I tried not to spend too much this month so 3 of these are second hand and 3 are from Amazon.

The diary of a young girl by Anne Frank

Goodreads

I’m using this for the first prompt for The book junkie trials as it features war and political themes. I’ve wanted to read this since going to Amsterdam last month because we didn’t get to go to the Anne Frank museum so I want to learn more about her story etc. I’m not normally a fan of historical fiction but I do think I will like this one.

The boy in the striped pyjamas by John Boyne

Goodreads

I’ve wanted to own a copy of this book since I read it in school about 7 years ago, I really love this book as well as the movie so I’m super happy to now have a copy to reread. If I manage to get to all of the challenges for Rachael’s readathon I will try to get to this too.

Wundersmith by Jessica Townsend

Goodreads

I’ve wanted to get this book since I read Nevermoor back in December last year so I finally decided to reread that one and then buy Wundersmith. I actually already read this book last week and enjoyed it so ,much, It’s definitely better than the first one in my opinion.

Spellslinger and Shadow Black by Sebastian De Castell

Goodreads

I saw both of these at my local supermarket for £1 and had heard of them so I decided to pick them both up. I’m actually really excited to get to these they seem right up my street and if I like them there’s 3 more in the series that I can binge. From the synopsis it kind of reminds me of the night circus and a darker shade of magic which is the best thing you could give me.

Stardust by Neil Gaiman

Goodreads

I got this one second hand because again I will be reading it for The book junkie trials as it is the group book. I’m not sure if I’m going to enjoy this one hence why I didn’t want to pay full price for it and I just got a gross movie tie in copy.

I’m hoping to get to all of these next month so I will keep you updated on my thoughts at the end of July. What books have you bought recently? Thanks for reading x

Chloe

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The book junkie trials TBR

Hi! Hope you’re all well, I have decided to take part in the book junkie trials hosted by Rachael Marie Book Junkie on YouTube. This is going to be a month long readathon taking place from the 1st to the 31st July and the aim of the readathon is to complete at least 5 challenges to make your way along the map for your chosen team. I will include Rachael’s announcement video in case you want more information.

I will be sharing with you the 5 books i will definitely be completing throughout this readathon, depending how I feel I may go for the full 17 but I won’t get my hopes up. I took the personality test to decide my team and the result was team Bard so here are the books I will be reading for each one.

1. The Elven Guard – Read a book with war, military or political themes. For this I am going to be reading The diary of a young girl by Anne Frank.
2. On The Hallow Isle – Read an atmospheric or horror book. For this I am going to for I let you go by Clare Mackintosh.
3. Empty Barrel Inn – Enjoy an indulgent book. For this I’m thinking of reading The flatshare by Beth O’Leary.
4. Giant Squid – Read a book that intimidates you. Might be stretching this a little but I’ve chosen Daisy Jones and the six by Taylor Jenkins Reid just because the hype intimidates me.
5. The Bookie Grail – Read the group book which is Stardust by Neil Gaiman.

Let me know if you plan on participating in this readathon and what team you’re on. Thanks for reading x

Chloe

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WWW Wednesday #3

Hi! hope you’re all well! I have another WWW Wednesday for you which is hosted by Sam @ taking on a world of words and allows us to share books we’re currently reading. just finished and about to start.

• What are you currently reading?
• What did you finish reading recently?
• What will you read next

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What are you currently reading?

Wundersmith by Jessica Townsend

As I said in my last WWW Wednesday I was going to re-read Nevermoor in order to get to Wundersmith so that’s exactly what I did. I’m only 63 pages into this at the moment so I don’t have many opinions so far but I am excited to find out where this story goes. I really like the character of Jupiter in this series so can’t wait to see more of him in the rest of this series.

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What did you finish reading recently?

Maybe in another life by Taylor Jenkins Reid

I loved this so much! This book focuses around the idea of ‘everything happens for a reason’ or the Butterfly effect which is something that me and my friend really believe and it’s become sort of a joke between us so I had a real connection with this premise. This is the kind of book that you finish and have to just sit there contemplating life for a little bit and I will force everyone to read it once I get my physical copy. Unpopular opinion but I liked this more than Evelyn Hugo but I do want to give that another chance.

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What will you read next?

I’m honestly not sure what I’m going to read next because technically I don’t have anything on my TBR because I’m saving the rest of my books for The book junkie trials {I’ll be posting a TBR for that soon} . Therefore I really want to re-read and annotate Radio silence because I just need it back in my life.

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Let me know if you have read any of these as well as your answers to the questions. Thanks for reading x

Chloe

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Mid year book freak out tag

I love seeing this tag floating around at this time of year so I thought I woild give it a go, I’ll probably end up giving more than one answer for some of these because I just can’t choose!

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Best book you’ve read so far this year

Aside from my read of the whole Harry Potter series I think my favourite book so far this year has to be Radio silence, I related to the characters so much at this point in my life and am really tempted to re-read if before going back to university in September.

Best sequel you’ve read so far this year

I haven’t actually read that many sequels this year, I’ve only read 5 (again excluding Harry Potter) so I think I would have to say either In an absent dream or Our dark duet. In an absent dream was my second favourite in the series so far but also I just love V.E. Schwab so I can’t decide.

New release you haven’t read yet but want to

I really want to get to I wish you all the best by Mason Deaver and it would be great if I could read it before the end of pride month as it features a non-binary character which is something I want to learn more about so now would be the perfect time to do so.

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

THE STARLESS SEA by Erin Morgenstern without a doubt. I’ve already pre-ordered the beautiful Waterstones edition, I have no clue what it’s even about but I can’t wait.

Biggest disappointment

My biggest disappointment so far this year has got to be Evermore by Sara Holland, I really enjoyed the first book, Everless, back in march last year but found this one to be so boring and I didn’t care at all. I have a feeling that my enjoyment of the first book stemmed from the fact that I was just getting back into reading so had nothing to compare it to. So i probably just loved it but sadly that wasn’t the case for the second book and I’m not sure if I will continue the series.

Biggest surprise

I have two for this one, both for the same reason I suppose. The first being The hating game and the second being The woman in the window because I haven’t read much from both of these genres I wasn’t sure what to expect from them but can definitely say I loved them both. So i;m glad i read them both because I want ti try more from these genres in the future now.

Favourite new to you author

I’m sorry but it has to be Alice Oseman, I’ve only read Radio silence but all her other books sound interesting to me so I’m sure I’ll love them too.

Newest fictional crush

JOSHUA TEMPLEMAN I don’t need to say anything else.

Newest favourite character

I would probably say August Flynn from the monsters of Verity duology by V.E. Schwab, I always love her characters and this time was no exception.

Book that made you cry

Like i said in my last post I’m not much of a crier so I think the only book that had=s made me cry as opposed to just tear up is Harry Potter and the deathly hallows, there were actual tears running down my cheeks, I guess they were happy and sad tears at the same time.

Book that made you happy

Red white and royal blue, where do I start, this book was everything. I really loved the banter between the two main characters as well as the Britishisms and i suppose stereotypes. This is one of the only books I have laughed out loud at and I can’t wait to get my hands on a physical copy.

Most beautiful book you’ve bought so far this year

The Psychology of time travel by Kate Mascarenhas or Scar by Alice Broadway.

What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

I don’t think there’s any that I NEED to read but, The starless sea is definitely up there.

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Let me know your answers to these questions, thanks for reading x

Chloe

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Books that made me cry

I don’t cry at books very often and if I do it’s either a single tear or I’m happy crying , I happy cry way more than I sad cry. So here’s my small list of 8 books that have made me cry, I’m not going to explain my reasoning behind any of these because spoilers!

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A man called Ove by Fredrik Backman

Goodreads

The boy in the striped pyjamas by John Boyne

Goodreads

All the bright places by Jennifer Niven

Goodreads

The fault in our stars by John Green

Goodreads

A conjuring of light by V.E. Schwab

Goodreads

The afterlife of Holly Chase by Cynthia Hand

Goodreads

Outwalkers by Fiona Shaw

Goodreads

A list of cages by Robin Roe

Goodreads

If you have any recommendations for really sad books please let me know I need to cry. Which books have made you cry? Thanks for reading x

Chloe

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WWW Wednesday #2

Hi! hope you’re all well! I have another WWW Wednesday for you which is hosted by Sam @ taking on a world of words and allows us to share books we’re currently reading. just finished and about to start.

• What are you currently reading?
• What did you finish reading recently?
• What will you read next

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What are you currently reading?

Eliza and her monsters by Francesca Zappia

I am currently on page 191 and have to say I’m not as obsessed with this as I thought I would be but I am still really enjoying this and it’s a super fast read I will hopefully finish it pretty soon. This books reminds me a lot of Radio silence by Alice Oseman which is on my top 10 all time favourites so it’s a tough one to beat in my eyes but it’s by no means a bad book.

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What did you finish reading recently?

Sourdough by Robin Sloan

I’m not really sure how to feel about this book, it was probably one of the strangest things I’ve ever read and it was just okay for me. This follows a woman living in San Francisco who works at a robot programming company but ends up getting an unlikely passion for baking bread after her favourite restaurant closes down. Mainly this book just made me want to eat all the bread.

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What will you read next?

Nevermoor by Jessica Townsend

I want to re=read this book so that I can move onto the sequel which I bought recently. I feel the need to read this again because when I read it the first time I was in a bit of a slump so I think I will enjoy it more this time and get more out of the story. I did still enjoy this last time and am excited to see where Wundersmith takes us.

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Let me know if you have read any of these as well as your answers to these questions. Thanks for reading x

Chloe

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